mikellllllll

Oh. wow. The first half of my story for the IWRY ficathon. Mind you,back August, it was due. August 7th, to be exact.

Title: What Could’ve Been (1/2)
Author: Miz Thang
Characters/Pairing: Faith Lehane, BS/Angel background
Rating: FRM
Word Count: 2690
Warnings: Angst. Melodrama. Character death.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything but the little story’s idea. Everything else belongs to who it belongs to.
Notes/Summary: A long, long time ago, during seasons one and four, there was a day that never happened. A day that was reversed. And since Buffy and Angel aren’t the center of everyone’s universe, let’s look at someone else in that day that never happened. Maybe…Faith? Written for the IWRY ficathon. Requirements posted at the end. Divided into two parts. I thought it’d make sense to at least post the first half, since I do have it.


Part One: Deep Into Her Soul

Giles held back from saying something he may or may not regret later, disbelieving that he was having this conversation with Buffy. “Human? Buffy, how did Angel become…I see. Yes, I’m sure it’s great. You’ll be back tomorrow, then? You won’t be back? What do you mean, you won’t be back? Moving to Los Angeles? Don’t you think you should talk to everyone here before you make a decision as large as this? I see. That’s enough, Buffy. Call me back when some sense has finally been knocked back into you.”

He hung up the phone, cursing under his breath. This was exactly why he still questioned her choices half the time, little actions such as these. Buffy really truly did some undeniably stupid things, this being one of them. She wanted to leave her calling behind, all because Angel was human.

“And next they’ll have a house in the suburbs with a manicured lawn, a white picket fence, two-point-five kids and a bloody dog,” he muttered as the nurse gave him a sympathizing glance, not that he saw it. He was more interested in cleaning his glasses-an attempt not to toss his phone clear across the waiting room.

“Faith Lehane?” he asked, glancing up at her.

“Room 245.” She replied. She hadn’t seen the man in this section since the emergencies just hours before last year’s graduation. She was surprised to see him visiting this girl, as the last time, he’d only been concerned about the blonde from what she could see. She watched him disappear down the hall and wondered what could’ve made him visit today.

Giles pushed open the door to Faith’s room, taking in her pale skin and the bags under her eyes. He moved towards her, taking a seat in the only chair the room had and taking a moment to just watch her. His first thought was that Buffy did this to her. And then he thought that, in a way, they all had done it to her, though she certainly hadn’t helped. He assumed it was all water under the bridge now; he had to worry about what would happen when she woke up, because he believed she would.

“It’s occurring to me once more how differently things could have been for you, Faith.” He started, sliding his seat closer. “I sometimes think that we may have been a bit biased when it came to you and Buffy, and I’m more than aware that Wesley had not been the right choice of a watcher to send to you and Buffy.” He shifted even closer to her. “I believe that Roger Pryce put it in with Quentin Travers to have him given the opportunity. And, with evidence, I can say that he failed.” He reached forward, taking her hand without a thought to the action.

“I never visited you before, but I am today. It’s not merely because of Buffy’s new thoughtless decision. It’s also because I believe that you needed a chance to work for your own redemption, atone. If that is something you want. I believe you do. I believe everyone involved has apologies to make, not just you.”

He let go, sitting back. “I just want you to wake up, Faith. There will be no getting past this until you do.” He stared at her, studying her face for a moment. “Can you hear me, Faith? I want you to wake up.”

He stared at her for a moment longer, some part of him hoping she’d heard and would awake now at his request. When she didn’t, he stood, fixing the chair and leaving the hospital room.

Her eyes fluttered.

-

“How long have you been sitting here?” Buffy asked, taking a seat next to Faith on the grass. At first it had seemed as if Buffy was going to stalk over and kill the Mayor, and then her, but something had changed. The atmosphere had lightened somehow and Buffy walked over peacefully, the Mayor respectfully giving them space to talk.

“You know how long. A few months.” Faith replied. “I just can’t seem to make myself get up. Either it’ll be when I’m figured out, or it’ll be when rage overcomes.”

“Yeah. I get that feeling sometimes, the not getting up one.” Buffy said. “Lucky me; I always manage to get up.”

“Yeah. Lucky you.” Faith remarked dryly. She frowned then, seeing a familiar figure spinning in a circle a few yards away as the suns rays shined down on him. “Is that-?”

“Angel? Yeah.” Buffy said, still grinning. “We didn’t even expect that.”

“So then, you don’t know how it happened?” Faith asked, curious and strangely happy for them.

“Actually, no. But then, it isn’t really permanent anyway.” Buffy said, tilting her head as she watched Angel with a small smile. “Twenty four hours left.”

“How?” Faith asked.

“He asked for it.” She replied. “Dawn’s coming. I’m so excited.”

Faith frowned. “Buffy, the sun’s already out.”

“What does that matter, Faith?” Buffy questioned. “She’s still coming and I need to get ready. We need to prepare everyone so that they know her.”

“Her?” Faith echoed, more than a bit confused. “Dawn’s a she?”

“Dawn’s my sister.” Buffy said. “You don’t remember her yet, but that’s okay.”

Suddenly they were in Buffy’s house, in a bedroom specifically for a fourteen year old girl. She could’ve sworn this had been the storage room…

Faith spun to face Buffy. “How did you get a sister?”

“Some monks. They made her from me. I have to protect her. And I’ll do what I have to. To keep her safe.” Buffy said, pulling the sheet over the bed, Faith helping.

The brunette froze, looking up at the other slayer. “Counting down from five-four-oh, right?”

“Yeah.” Buffy smiled beautifully. “You remembered.”

“How can I forget?” Faith asked. “Giles came to see me today. I don’t know how I know.”

“You felt it.” Buffy replied. “You felt him here, and he cared. So now you’ll get better and take my place.”

“Take your place?”

“Yeah. I’m going to stay in L.A. with Angel. I have to make sure he’s okay there. Protect him…though that might mean you’ll have to protect Dawn…”

She trailed off and they stood in silence for a moment. Then Buffy gave her a questioning look. “Did you hear him…Giles? Did you hear what he told you?”

Faith grinned this time, thinking about the good feeling she’d had as he’d talked. “Every single word, B.”

-

“Are you ever going to wake up?” Wesley asked, giving her a sideways look.

“I don’t think I’m ready yet, Wes.” Faith responded. One blink and there she was. She was used to the scene changing on her though. “Do you think I’m ready?”

“No. You’re right about that one.” Wesley said. He waited a bet. “Your room’s a prison.”

“Yeah…kinda drab, right?” Faith touched the sheet. “But that’s okay. I’ll wake up soon and this’ll just be a memory.”

“You’re a good slayer, Faith. But not like Buffy. You’ll never be like Buffy.” Wesley said and Faith opened her mouth to speak. “That’s a good thing, Faith. I assure you. Mr. Giles is right, though. You deserve a second chance. Take it.”

“I planned on it. Can’t let them down again, can I?”

“No.” Wesley stared at her. “You can’t.”

“Are you going to come with me?”

“No. But don’t worry.” Wesley smiled at her. It was full of warmth and it surrounded her, made her feel safe. She found herself smiling back as he said, “You’re not alone. You’re never alone.”

Faith nodded, turning her back on him. Her steps were slow, deliberate, and she felt refreshed, renewed. She’d been given a second chance to prove her worth, to help. To do right by everyone. She wrapped her hand around the door knob and pulled it open, taking her first step out of her prison…and into a hotel.

A very, very nice hotel that she had no doubt whatsoever belonged to Angel. She turned in a slow circle, never taking her eyes off the clean walls and letting out a whistle to show her appreciation for the old building.

“Be yourself, Faith.” Wesley said as she finally faced him, sitting on the counter. “That’s all we want.”

Faith grinned, just as a dark haired vampire appeared behind him, snapping at his unprotected neck. Faith’s smile dropped instantly, alert and watching the danger. “Wes-“

“It’s Drusilla, isn’t it?” Wesley asked. Faith nodded dumbly as he remained calm. She didn’t know the vampire personally, but stories were enough. “She’s here for Angel, not me. I’m perfectly safe here.”

“You are?” Faith asked, concerned.

“Yes. Now, Los Angeles isn’t much of your concern.”

“Then what is?”

“Sunnydale. Your hell mouth. Wake up and guard it.”

-

The monitor beeped steadily, telling anyone that dared venture into the hospital room that the dark-haired girl was still alive, despite her appearance. No one outside of the middle-aged man that came by hours ago came near her door. Not unless they were high-ranking hospital personnel.

The clock hanging from the wall struck midnight and a stiff nurse entered the room. A close look at her hospital I.D. would prove counterfeit; she was an employee of the Watcher’ Council, not Sunnydale Memorial. She barely contained her sneer as she checked the clipboard at the end of the bed and then the IVs, her back to Faith throughout all of this. Just her bad luck, that was.

Faith’s eyes shot open, as if she was returning to life. Wesley’s instructions still rang in her ears as if he’d really been present. She didn’t sit up, able to sense the presence of another person in the room. Her vision was blurry, dark, but she knew she was in her hospital room. She heard the nurse curse as she dropped something at her side.

She relaxed, trying to think, trying to get her bearings. Her main priority was to get out of this building, and away from the nurse. She didn’t trust something about that woman. She didn’t even know that this woman was very much the enemy and working for the Council. All she had was her bad feeling.

A plan formed in her mind only a second before she made it happen. Quietly, she slid out of her bed, removing the bothersome IVs in her arm and surprising the woman by wrapping her right arm around her throat. The woman flailed, as Faith tightened her grip, hoping for the woman to pass out. She continued to struggle, not yet ready to give up consciousness before inevitably slumping against the slayer.

The woman fell out of her grasp, sliding to the floor silently. Faith grabbed her arm and began to roll the woman towards the bed. Within seconds, the fake nurse disappeared under it, and Faith took her leave, hurrying out the door.

Thankfully for her, it made no sound as it was pulled open. Faith paused, sticking her head out to find the hallway empty. She took a cautious step outside and then let the door slowly close behind her. She let out a deep breath in relief and made a run for the emergency exit.

It was employees only; a sign read so in glaring red and white. It was a locked door, but she gave a look around, solving her problem with a hard twist of the door knob. She hurried into the stairwell, racing down the stairs and further away from the chance of being caught. She took a look around the spacious area, then seeing a box of clothing in the corner. She figured it was their half-assed lost and found, and went over to it, desperate to change her clothing.

It turned out to be easy to find clothing in her size. A pair of grey sweatpants, and an orange top later, she dropped the hospital gown on the floor. She found a denim jacket, and slipped it on, knowing that she’d have to change her outfit later. Indefinitely.

It took her a while longer to sift through the pile and find a decent pair of socks and a pair of shoes, but she did, and then she left through the door that read emergency exit, taking her first breath of freedom in months.

-

The second time she had to break a lock was to enter the cold, dusty apartment she’d once called home. Had it really been less than six months ago that she’d stood around the spacious apartment, in awe as the Mayor explained things, and how it was hers? She couldn’t help the smile that overcame her face at the thought of him and how he’d shown it to her. And then the night when he’d bought that dress. Only some odd hours, days, before graduation. She’d missed it.

The Mayor was dead. He had to be. Everything was the same as she remembered. There was no chaos, and he would’ve have never let her remain in a coma for so long. So she knew what had happened. He’d ascended and Buffy had killed him, saving the world again.

Thinking about Buffy only reminded her of her dream. She didn’t remember the exact details of it. She couldn’t. All she remembered was that for once, she hadn’t had that loop of Buffy killing the Mayor and then her with her own dagger. It had been…peaceful. And she remembered a feeling of Giles being near, also contributing to her calmness.

It’s not Buffy’s fault, she thought to herself, venturing into new territory. Atonement. It felt weird to think…positively…of the other slayer, but not too much. It made things just a bit clearer.

Buffy wasn’t her enemy. Faith had just made it that way and the mayor had made the feeling grow. He’d encouraged it. All Buffy had really wanted of her was to admit to all the guilt that she had locked away, to be human. And she hadn’t let it out. She didn’t know if she could even now. She felt not only the guilt for the Deputy Mayor she had accidentally killed, but also for all the people she purposely killed in the name of her first surrogate father.

But she’d cared about him. The Mayor. She’d cared about him, still did, and probably always would. But now, now she could see that he’d been wrong. He’d been evil. And she shouldn’t have joined him. She shouldn’t have gone that far, and hurt Buffy. And…

Xander. She’d been horrible to him, and she’d known how special it had been and she’d thrown him out her room, half naked. Guilt and shame filled her thoughts before she made the resolve to find him and apologize. Later.

She went to her armoire, searching though them for something wearable. That, and a look through her closet, had her dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a white wife beater and a denim jacket. She was finding new shoes when she caught a glimpse of her reflection.

She stared at herself, nearing the glass slowly. She memorized the paleness of her skin, and the darkness around her eyes. Her hair was limp and she looked half dead. She reached for her lipstick, bright red contrasting and bringing some color back to her face. She then applied mascara and eyeliner, hoping she looked okay.

Done with the attempt to liven herself, she continued to stare at her reflection, her eyes casting back an unwavering gaze that sank deep into her soul. She wasn’t evil. She was a Vampire Slayer, a good guy. She fought for puppies and Christmas and all those innocent things in the world, and she’d never help to end the world ever again. And there was only one person to help her. Giles. He’d help her because Buffy had made some idiotic decision that involved Angel…not that Faith blamed her. The life of a Slayer. Not a long one despite all the super senses would suggest. So, Faith decided not to blame the older girl.

“Because it’s not Buffy’s fault.”

Part Two: It Wasn't Permanent


Feedback is, as always, appreciated.